Beauty in the shadows

I write of your beauty, Yet you know not, I cast my eyes upon you, Within the shadows, I watch over you, Like a bird of prey, Yet you see not, Every fleeting breath, Every waking moment, My love for you grows. Walked in paths, Melodious words in thought, I look to you for inspiration, […]

Beauty in the shadows

‘Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love’

If you are in a relationship or have been in one, then there are a couple universal questions that you’ve asked yourself. For example:

What do females really want?

Why doesn’t he just get it?

Are all men simply trash?

Are all relationships this difficult?

What’s the big deal about sex?

Is love overrated?

Is monogamy dead?

These are questions that Barbara and Allan Pease seek to answer. You’d be surprised to learn just how much the Victorian era has influenced your relationship and that of your parents. Yes, as in Queen Victoria. How so, you ask? Well, pick up this book and find out. 

Speaking of eras, with the onset of technology, you’d think we have really come a long way from our ancestors. You know, we don’t need to kill a deer for food or live in caves. We have the option of ordering food from our favourite restaurants and staying at fancy hotels. Right? 

Well, actually, no! Technologically, we may have evolved but emotionally, there’s not much difference between our homo habilis ancestors and us. Their reasons for getting into relationships are pretty much our reasons for getting into them. Sounds like a joke? An ancient one? You’d be surprised. 

Barbara and Allan Pease write from a place of facts. They have run the surveys and crunched the numbers. They read through the journals and lived the life. They know their stuff!

This book is as informative and as enlightening as they come. You’ll look at your relationship differently after reading this. Things will make a lot more sense and conversations will get a lot more meaningful. 

The evolution is here!




This story revolves around Kambili, a young girl born into a family of a devout Catholic father, academic aunt, submissive mother, traditionalist grandfather and renegade brother. It explores the conflict between Christianity (read Catholicism) and traditionalism, where the former is billed as the ‘superior’ form, whereas the latter is portrayed as the ‘pagan’ alternative. Kambili’s father, Papa, a dyed-in-the-wool Catholic, embodies the dual being who tries so hard to be a ‘prefect’ Catholic that he will spare nothing or no one, in achieving that facade of existence.

His life is a combination of unsustainable piousness, self-defeating strictness, unacknowledged anger issues and a troubled soul in denial. This miasma of being manifests itself in various forms such as when he barters his wife till she loses their unborn child, cuts off his son’s finger for missing Holy Communion, bans his children from spending more than fifteen minutes with his father, who refuses to give up his African traditional ways and burns his daughter’s feet with scalding water, because she seemed to have a soft spot for his father. On the other hand, Papa was as magnanimous as they come.

Quintessential of Chimamanda, she pays homage to her rich Igbo culture by peppering this beautiful piece of work with Igbo phrases and Igbo culture! Unlike other men, Papa refused to take up other women. He remained loyal to his wife. He helped the poor, tipped hawkers, and catered for the school fees of more than a hundred people in the village.

She highlights the danger of a military state. She artistically shows how such a state only begets violence, coups and counter-coups, assassinations, nihilism and impunity. Soldiers mete out brutal force on civilians, harass, frame and torture the academics, make life a living hell for the independent press, and brand anyone who upsets the status quo as ‘enemy of the state’.

Written by one the most gifted and talented authors on the planet, Purple Hibiscus is a well-written book that interpolates pertinent issues in society. Chimamanda wears her African heritage proudly! She speaks to issues that are critical and need to be addressed! She is such a powerful author!




Pastor Dr. Chris Oyakhilome, uses his more than thirty years of decorated pastoral service to demystify and indeed, to bring home, how powerful an instrument the human mind is. His reference book? The Good Book, of course!

Dr. Chris makes a distinction between the mind and the brain. Quoting St. Paul’s letters to the Romans, in Romans 12:2, he makes the case that transformation can only be done by the renewal of our minds. Not of our cars, homes, bank accounts, or wardrobes, but of our minds.

Like only one with experience and hindsight can, Dr. Chris accurately quotes portions of scriptures for corroboration, all the while comparing various versions of the Bible for clarity.

He stresses on matters of the mind, and its renewal because, in his words, “who you are today is a function of your mind. Your personality is the expression of the contents working of your mind… Your life and the totality of your personality are the expression of your mind.” In this regard, in this book, he calls on us to access our mental hard drive to see what files we need to delete and the new ones we need to download and install, in order to better manage our minds differently.

Of importance, is where he makes the distinction between the outward man and the inward man, and their connectedness. That the former is the physical body and its five senses, while the latter is the human spirit and soul.

The parallels drawn, the distinctions made, the anecdotes and analogies interpolated are both eye-opening and informative.

This is one of those books you need, that you didn’t think you needed.